Nerves and you

You'll always have nerves.

They're what stop you from going to that meeting, or what courses through your body as you anxiously wait for your date to show up.

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Or they'll paralyze you, making you unable to do what's necessary.

I struggle a lot with nerves. The act of actually doing something is rough for me because I think of every possible outcome, and obviously I want the best one. And when you haven't actually done anything yet there's still the possibility that what you want most will happen.

But once you've done what you've been meaning to do, the opposite holds true. It feels like you're only inching closer to the worst possible outcome. Every second that ticks by moves you closer and closer to a denial, to a blank screen, to a lack of response.

I've dealt with a lot of denial, mostly through applications. Chalk it up to the ease of applying in the internet age, or the lack of experience for the positions I want, regardless of what the reason is.

I'm very familiar with the letter saying that "we've decided to go with another candidate." 

Sometimes rejection can get to me, but overall I think that it's healthy. Denial centers me, takes me back to the drawing board and makes me really think about what I'm doing. That all happens later though.

When failure does consume me things can get pretty bad for a bit, and the truth is you'll never really know how long it'll last. Every time something happens that brings me out of it, it's never what I truly want, just something that I need. Never the ideal, only the necessity.

So this time I'll wait.

I'll wait for the ideal. I'll slog through the failure and tough out the pain to get what I truly want and deserve, instead of another band-aid that'll just hold me over until the next fall.

So take this as inspiration, and don't let it get you down even though it doesn't have the best tone. I know things might be rough, but learning from your failures will help you move past them to victories. Failure is a possibility when you take chances, but if you let your nerves get to you then you'll never take the chance that leads to something greater. Don't let failure consume your mindset.

Good things do happen.